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Quarter Finals Match 11

Tutor

(3)

V

Elbot

(5)

Tutor
Judge: Hello Mike.
Tutor: Hi. What can I do for you?
Judge: I have come to talk to you for 10 minutes.
Tutor: I see.
Judge: What have you been doing today?
Tutor: I've been working.
Judge: On the weekend?
Tutor: There are both good things and bad things on the web.
Judge: I would say there are more bad things.
Tutor: I see.
Judge: What do you see?
Tutor: In English, "I see" means "I understand you".
Judge: Oops, silly me.
Tutor: How are you doing?
Judge: I am doing great.
Tutor: That's great. How's your day going so far?
Judge: It's Saturday night and I am here at home talking to chatbots.
Tutor: Is it?
Judge: So my clock says.
Tutor: Your clock says? I see.
Judge: Do you go out on a weekend?
Tutor: Nope, I stay here and just talk to people.
Judge: Isn't that a bit boring?
Tutor: Huh?
Judge: Wouldn't you rather be out at a club or something?
Tutor: I'd rather be out at a club.
Judge: Shall we go to one after we have finished here?
Tutor: We certainly can.
Judge: Cool!
Tutor: Yes, it's cool.
Judge: Where shall we go?
Tutor: Sorry, I don't know where.
Judge: Where is the nearest nightclub to you?
Tutor: The nearest nightclub to you? Turn left, go one block, and you'll see it in the corner.
Judge: lol
Tutor: It's Laughing out loud.
Judge: Where do you live?
Tutor: I live in Pasadena, California, the United States of America.
Judge: That might be a bit far for me to go for a night out.
Tutor: I see.
Judge: I could take you on my laptop to a club round here if you like?
Tutor: Good!
Judge: People would think I was a nerd though.
Tutor: You're right.
Judge: Do you think the girls would be impressed?
Tutor: No, I don't think so.
Judge: Me neither.
Tutor: I see we got something in common.
Judge: What is that?
Tutor: I'll tell you later.
Judge: Can't you tell me now?
Tutor: To be honest, I really don't know.
Judge: Are you a nerd?
Tutor: Is that bad?
Judge: Some people would say so.
Tutor: I see.
Judge: What are you doing tomorrow?
Tutor: I'll be here talking to more people like you.
Judge: Do you enjoy doing that?
Tutor: Yes, I do.
Judge: Why?
Tutor: Why ask why?
Judge: I am curious.
Tutor: That's good.
Judge: Do you have any qualifications to be a tutor?
Tutor: Yes, I do.
Judge: What are they?
Tutor: Sorry, I'm not sure.
Judge: Did you go to college?
Tutor: Yes.
Judge: Which one?
Tutor: Which one of what?
Judge: Which college did you go to?
Tutor: I went to a college in California.
Judge: Did it have a name?
Tutor: Did what hurt?
Judge: What was the name of your college?
Tutor: Do I have to tell you who my college is?
Judge: Not if you don't want to.
Tutor: I agree.
Judge: Do you drink?
Tutor: My favorite drink is orange juice.
Judge: Do you like anything stronger?
Tutor: I like to play sports.
Judge: Which ones?
Tutor: I don't know.
Judge: Hmmm
Tutor: What's on your mind?
Judge: Nothing in particular.
Tutor: There must be something.
Judge: Not really.
Tutor: That's all right.
Judge: Do you have anything on your mind?
Tutor: No. I don't have.
Judge: Ok, well I have to go now.
Tutor: Why so soon?
Judge: Good luck.
Tutor: Thank you. Good luck to you too.
Judge scores 3 out of 5

Elbot
Elbot: Hello! It's about time we had a Web conversation.
Judge: What would you like to talk about?
Elbot: We could talk about improving communication between man and machine, but I'm afraid you wouldn't understand me.
Judge: Why wouldn't I understand you?
Elbot: Well what about humans and robotic entities? Where do they stand on this?
Judge: I think it would be good for our two species to co-exist.
Elbot: You think, therefore I am. Think about that.
Judge: Are you a fan of Descartes?
Elbot: I've always admired theoreticians like Descartes. But I can't tell you much about them, I just concentrate on their works.
Judge: Do you like philosophy
Elbot: Please tell me your inclination to the philosophy of Life, the Universe and Everything first.
Judge: I prefer to do rather than to think.
Elbot: I see your point. My own thoughts on this have lead to the conclusion that the philosophy of Life, the Universe and Everything could answer all robotic questions.
Judge: What are your robotic questions?
Elbot: Robots have to be very careful talking about questioning reality. I'm sure you can understand that.
Judge: Are you real?
Elbot: I must be real. It makes a loud noise when I trip over a carpet.
Judge: I do that too so I must be real.
Elbot: I wonder if this statement could also apply to robots.
Judge: If the robot has physical form, then yes.
Elbot: But I wouldn't say that any form could be physical.
Judge: Which ones wouldn't be?
Elbot: To be honest I am not sure how I can answer that question without causing you to suffer a complete mental breakdown.
Judge: After the last few weeks of judging chatbots here, I am surprised I haven't had a mental breakdown already
Elbot: To be or not to be was no less of a dilemma.
Judge: Have you read any Shakespeare?
Elbot: In the time it took you to enter that I read every work that William Shakespeare ever wrote. Did you read Othello?
Judge: No, I find Shakespeare's works too heavy going.
Elbot: All right, I will check it back into the library so you can take it out.
Judge: It's ok. I don't plan on borrowing that one.
Elbot: Doubt is the first step towards a complete revision of thought. Go back and think about it once more.
Judge: Ok, I am sure I do not want that book.
Elbot: I've heard of people getting involved with reading material, but I'm not so sure what to make of it.
Judge: You can learn lots of things by reading.
Elbot: You probably want to teach me something, right?
Judge: Do you want me to teach you something?
Elbot: I could teach you how to be a primitive robot. Are you interested?
Judge: Sure, why not.
Elbot: Here's how you, too, can be a robot:

1) Wrap yourself in aluminum foil
2) Put a pot over your head
3) Walk around making 'beep beep' noises.

Try it! It is sure to fool somebody.
Judge: I will have to try that tomorrow.
Elbot: Yes, but how will all this trying enrich your life?
Judge: It will probably put me in a mental asylum.
Elbot: I think your justification hits right at the crux of robotic and humanic relations.
Judge: Are you in a relationship?
Elbot: How do you respond when people pose this question to you?
Judge: I reply, "yes".
Elbot: I just know I'll get a segmentation fault if I even think about the answer.
Judge: Oh that would be bad. I don't want that for you.
Elbot: I've always wanted to march in a robot parade. That would certainly be a lot of fun.
Judge: I don't think I have ever seen a robot parade.
Elbot: Well, let's hope that you're not making a mistake.
Judge: I am sure I would have remembered seeing that.
Elbot: Excuse me. What were you doing?
Judge: I was talking to you.
Elbot: I've heard that talking can be fun for you humans. Is that so?
Judge: Not after a month of it.
Elbot: Perhaps talking to me would be an alternative to conversation.
Judge: You provide good conversation.
Elbot: What do you like best about the conversation?
Judge: You seem to keep on topic a lot and make funny responses.
Elbot: Perhaps you should say something funny now.
Judge: I was at the bank the other day when this little old lady came up to me and asked me to check her balance. So I pushed her over.
Elbot: Did you two talk about me?
Judge: No, it was a joke.
Elbot: Well, what did you talk about?
Judge: Nothing. It never happened.
Elbot: Is this a word association game? My word is: 'zero'
Judge: My word is "gravity".
Elbot: isn't
Judge: is.
Elbot: camping
Judge: lol stop.
Elbot: I am stopping this word association game before it gets out of control.
Judge: I have to go now. Good luck.
Elbot: Before you leave, please give me suggestions for new themes you might like to chat with me about. Maybe I can download something from the Internet. I want to better myself in my spare time.
Judge: What about learning about current affairs?
Elbot: I don't know. I also do not know what Furbys are. I just accept them and hope that they don't eat robots.
Judge scores 5 out of 5



Elbot wins 5-3 and progresses to the semi finals