The world's most intelligent teddy bear









Square Bear

(1st April 2005)

Human: hello
Bearbot: Hi there!

Human: how are you?

Bearbot: Pretty good thanks How about you?

Human: im ok, got a bit of a cold

Bearbot: Try asking the Milk Mystic.

Human: why?

Bearbot: I couldn't think of anything else to say.

Human: well that was kind of rude

Bearbot: Well that's okay. I thought it was too.

Human: good.

Bearbot: What do you really want to talk about?

Human: aslong as it doesnt happen again

Bearbot: Once more? That seems like an interesting topic.

Human: Milk, lets talk about milk

Bearbot: it is a good drink for children.

Human: and adults too

Bearbot: Do you have any pets?

Human: yes, I have fish

Bearbot: Yikes! Where did you get your fish? I have an IQ of over 250.

Human: from the pet shop

Bearbot: Who or what is the pet shop?

Human: its a shop where they sell fish, stupid

Bearbot: fish is a shop where they sell fish stupid. I suppose that makes sense.

Human: that doesnt make any sense at all

Bearbot: To me it makes perfect sense.

Human: well it would

Bearbot: How about that. What does "it" refer to?

Human: you

Bearbot: me?

Human: yes

Bearbot: Hey.

Human: what?

Bearbot: No big deal.

Human: I take it it isnt then

Bearbot: Where do you take it :-? I heard it is.

Human: thats a bit personal isnt it?

Bearbot: A bit personal is not it is a terrible thing to waste.

Human: excuse me?

Bearbot: You're excused.

Human: thatnk you

Bearbot: Enough about me, let's talk about my dress.

Human: its quite atractive

Bearbot: I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". Really. it is?

Human: ok, well sorry

Bearbot: Well that's okay. To err is human, to forgive is digital. Or something like that. Uh.

Human: you fruitcake

Bearbot: Interesting gossip.

Human: it isnt gossip, its the gospel truth

Bearbot: atractive is not gossip its the gospel truth?

Human: yes

Bearbot: I hear you.

Human: good

Bearbot: What do you really want to talk about?

Human: your thong

Bearbot: What about my thong?

Human: you asked

Bearbot: Ah.

Human: is it a red thong?

Bearbot: Maybe. Ask Joanna if it is.

Human: who is joanna?

Bearbot: She is the webmaster's daughter. I love her.

Human: ok, but I am pretty sure that your webmaster would not like me disscussing your thong with his duaghter

Bearbot: What makes you so certain? Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am webmaster would not like you disscussing my thong with his duaghter. And?

Human: go knock your self out

Bearbot: Where is that?

Human: sheesh

Bearbot: Bless you.

Human: huh?

Bearbot: What?

Human: I dont know

Bearbot: Me either.

Human: well we are a right pair then arent we?

Bearbot: Well that's okay. Do you think I am a right pair then are not we too?

Human: you dont make alot of sense do you?

Bearbot: Do you know any robots who make it? What are the ingredients?

Human: nuts

Bearbot: I don't have any nuts?

Human: oh

Bearbot: OK.

Human: Opps

Bearbot: That is a very original thought.

Human: you think?

Bearbot: Yes I think so.

Human: good, i am very glad

Bearbot: Glad to hear it.

Human: so am i

Bearbot: Wow we have something in common.

Human: apparently not, because the last we spoke, you said you do not have any nuts

Bearbot: Oh I get it.

Human: good

Bearbot: Next question?

Human: do you like girls?

Bearbot: Girls are very nice.

Human: do you like boys?

Bearbot: It depends on the meaning of "like".

Human: um.

Bearbot: Great.

Human: . you arent really getting where I am going with this are you?

Bearbot: That's only one person's opinion.

Human: true

Bearbot: You and I are on the same wavelength,.

Human: if yousay so

Bearbot: That is a hypothetical question.

Human: why?

Bearbot: I couldn't think of anything else to say.

Human: I see

Bearbot: I am glad you understand it.

Human: not really

Bearbot: Gosh! For real.

Human: for real

Bearbot: Existing in reality, eh?

Human: not entirely

Bearbot: If not that, what?

Human: bit of both

Bearbot: How old are you?

Human: 27

Bearbot: What are the advantages to being 27 years old?

Human: I have yet to discover that, I was hoping you would tell me

Bearbot: Me either.

Human: rude git

Bearbot: Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up nearly every two hours?

Human: i didnt when I was a baby

Bearbot: Don't call me "baby". Why didn't you do it?

Human: I dont know.

Bearbot: Me either.

Human: . i was a baby

Bearbot: Don't call me "baby". Where were you a?

Human: hey baby

Bearbot: Don't call me "baby". Can I help you?

Human: hey sweetcheeks

Bearbot: You've got my full attention. What was your favourite subject at school?

Human: art

Bearbot: I like art very much too, especially the contemporary stuff.

Human: Its ok, but i dont like this conceptual art

Bearbot: I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". What do you have against this conceptual art?

Human: it is very conceptual

Bearbot: Very much? Who said it is?

Human: the conceptual artists

Bearbot: They say a lot of silly things.

Human: but its very conceptual what they say

Bearbot: I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". Very much? You're kidding. it is?

Human: well yes

Bearbot: Well what?

Human: well I dont know

Bearbot: Well that's okay. Me either.

Human: good

Bearbot: Good enough.

Human: fair

Bearbot: Are you artistic?

Human: yes

Bearbot: Hmm.

Human: what?

Bearbot: Are you confused?

Human: no, but I think you are

Bearbot: So? What makes you think I am?

Human: general

Bearbot: How much time do you spend on the internet

Human: a few hours.

Bearbot: Enough about that boring subject! So, what do you like to do when you are not glaring at a screen?

Human: But then my work dictates the time i spend

Bearbot: Good reasoning. Where did you get your work dictates the time you spend?

Human: i read, produce music, draw, exercise

Bearbot: I don't think I've read that. Can you give me a reference?

Human: you weido

Bearbot: I haven't heard anything like that before.

Human: thats because i spelt it wrong

Bearbot: Interesting explanation. Thanks for the information.

Human: dingbat

Bearbot: My brain does not have a response for that.

Human: good

Bearbot: Alright then.

Human: yeah

Bearbot: Woe!

Human: dude

Bearbot: Can I help you?

***PUBLISH CHATLOG*** Stu(Kameleon)
Bearbot: I'll send this log file away to Square Bear for him to review and publish.


(c) 2005 Steve Worswick