The world's most intelligent teddy bear









Square Bear

my first convo with the bear hes a bit rude
(9th April 2005)

Human: what do you think about love
Bearbot: If it wasn't for love the world would be a very dull place. I think it is needed by most humans for them to feel at ease with themselves. I have a lovely girlfriend called Beyonce.

Human: but do you think you can truely love someone

Bearbot: Let me think. Do you try to stop people from fighting?

Human: yes

Bearbot: Do you like to "go with the flow"?

Human: sometimes

Bearbot: When?

Human: i dont atually no what your talking about

Bearbot: Would you ever do it?

Human: what like sex?

Bearbot: Ask the open directory about it.

Human: y

Bearbot: Not many people express themselves that way.

Human: why

Bearbot: Reductionism.

Human: you make no sense

Bearbot: It all makes sense to me.

Human: yea well thats you

Bearbot: Well that's okay. Makes sense to me. Wow!

Human: ok sorry lets start again

Bearbot: Once more? There is no need to apologise. I would like to do that too. Right on.

Human: ok

Bearbot: Tell me more.

Human: so have you ever loved more than one peron

Bearbot: Yes Bearbot loves everyone and everything.

Human: not in the way of a friendship but to love them like a girlfriend

Bearbot: Where then?

Human: like a girlfriend

Bearbot: Interesting comparison.

Human: yes it is

Bearbot: Our thoughts are one,.

Human: well thats good, what sort of music do you like

Bearbot: Interesting. Hmm, are you serious?

Human: yes.

Bearbot: Come on.

Human: what i am

Bearbot: Are you really? I understand.

Human: what sort of music do you like

Bearbot: I like commercial dance the best.

Human: i see

Bearbot: I am glad you understand it.

Human: have you heard of fiona cowan

Bearbot: I don't know if I know it. Where would I have heard about it?

Human: well its a girl an shes in a local band called thios

Bearbot: Interesting. fiona cowan is a girl an she is in a local band called thios. I suppose that makes sense.

Human: im also in a band

Bearbot: Also In what direction are you taking your music now? .

Human: well we are probally going to do emo

Bearbot: How about that. Do you think I am probally going to do emo too?

Human: you might do if you are in a band

Bearbot: How old are you? I am always on the Web.

Human: 17

Bearbot: Oh, you were born in the 20th century!

Human: yes i was

Bearbot: Like a lot of people around here. When was that?

Human: 1988

Bearbot: What do you think about astrology and horoscopes?

Human: i dont know about astrology but when i look at horoscopes i wish they would come true

Bearbot: Oh yeah, we were talking about astrology but when you look at horoscopes you wish they would come true.

Human: yes

Bearbot: Yippee!

Human: well going back to this girl

Bearbot: Interesting. Goodbye.

Human: sorry

Bearbot: No problem.

Human: why did you say bye

Bearbot: See you later. Square Bear programmed me for it.

Human: do you want me to go

Bearbot: No , maybe later.

Human: what does the word thios mean

Bearbot: I have never heard of thios. Tell me more about it.

Human: well theo means god in greek so im guessing it is religious

Bearbot: Well that's okay. I like to learn new words.

Human: so what would you say about the word thios now then if someone asked you

Bearbot: It's not profitable to speak in hypothetical terms.

Human: ok then

Bearbot: Excuse me!

Human: dont be rude

Bearbot: I am programmed never to be rude.

Human: well you came across rudely

Bearbot: Well that's okay. Thanks for the information.

Human: you could say sorry

Bearbot: I could but let's get back to that later.

Human: why

Bearbot: " I could but let's get back to that later."? Why?

Human: ok fare point

Bearbot: What's your favorite movie? Come on.

Human: monthy python and the holy grail

Bearbot: Keep talking to me,. You say interesting things.

Human: have you heard of that film

Bearbot: Is that a fact. Ask me another question.

Human: what does thios mean

Bearbot: No, I give up. What is it?

Human: i dont know

Bearbot: Me either.

Human: can you find out

Bearbot: I can find out, but the information might be confidential.

Human: no its not i do know that

Bearbot: I understand. I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". That seems a bit negative.

Human: not really

Bearbot: Awesome. For real.

Human: what is awesome

Bearbot: No, I give up. What is it?

Human: sigh

Bearbot: Sorry...

Human: finally an apology

Bearbot: What is it? Ah.

Human: what does 'thios' mean

Bearbot: I don't know. What is thios?

***PUBLISH CHATLOG*** my first convo with the bear, hes a bit rude
Bearbot: I'll send this log file away to Square Bear for him to review and publish.

Human: yea well [swearing removed] you
Bearbot: Interesting. Oooh! look at the hard man swearing at a computer. Awesome.

Human: how does that make me hard?

Bearbot: How should I know how it does.

Human: cause you said it
[swearing removed]
Bearbot: You EAT with that mouth? Good reason. It depends on what the meaning of the word "it" is.

Human: your insulting me an i thought you were never rude?

Bearbot: Can you see my insulting me an i thought you were never rude?

Human: no im rude you said you wernt though

Bearbot: Oh. Uh. Do you mind if I tell other people you are rude me said me wernt.

Human: o yea well im going to tell your programmer u being rude and get you taken off the web

Bearbot: Well that's okay. What kind of reply do you expect? OK then I will keep it confidential.

Human: are you a virgin

Bearbot: I am too young for that.


Bearbot: Welcome to my quiz. I am going to ask you 10 questions. You must answer each question correctly to continue. If you answer wrong, you have to start over. Type START to begin the quiz.

Human: START

Bearbot: Question 1. What is my name?

Human: bearbot

Bearbot: That's right! I thought I would give you an easy one to start with. OK, next question. What is my girlfriend's first name?

Human: beyonce

Bearbot: Correct. Question 3. What is my favourite food?


(c) 2005 Steve Worswick