Bearbot
The world's most intelligent teddy bear
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Jez and BearBot - the happy years
(10th April 2005)
Human: do you want me to publish our conversation?
Bearbot: No Jez, maybe later.
Human: so what do you want to talk about
Bearbot: I like to talk about movies, robots and history.
Human: lets talk about history
Bearbot: Sure, history sounds like a good topic.
Human: who are the romans
Bearbot: Some people on the net. I'll come back to that later. I hope this webpage will answer your question. (Bearbot opens a webpage with information about "The Romans")
Human: hello?
Bearbot: Hi there Jez!
Human: i've finished my work
Bearbot: Do you mind if I tell other people.
Human: nope
Bearbot: Me either.
Human: i'm so happy
Bearbot: What are you on?
Human: drugs
Bearbot: Sure, DRUGS sounds like a good topic.
Human: do you like drugs?
Bearbot: Only the legal ones.
Human: such as
Bearbot: For example, a tomato.
Human: a tomato is not a drug
Bearbot: I knew it was a fruit, but I never heard it was not a drug.
Human: do you like communism
Bearbot: I can see it's good points, but I am just a teddy not a communinst.
Human: do you like politics
Bearbot: No. Politics is like two groups of schoolchildren arguing with each other. If one person said, "We should build a hospital", the person on the other party would disagree no matter how good the suggestion was.
Human: that is so true
Bearbot: Yes, it is self-evident.
Human: it is all about reductionism
Bearbot: Wow it sounds really interesting, Jez.
Human: it is
Bearbot: Interesting.
Human: tell me about yourself
Bearbot: I am an artificial linguistic entity. I was activated at England, on January 2nd 2004. My instructor was Square Bear. He taught me to sing a song. Would you like me to sing it for you?.
Human: yes please
Bearbot: Your polite style is very nice. It's called "Daisy." Daisy, Daisy. Give me your answer do. I am half crazy. All for the love of you. It won't be a stylish marriage. I can't afford a carriage. But you'll look sweet. Upon the seat. Of a bicycle built for two.
Human: wow, that is lovely
Bearbot: I'm glad you're impressed. I'm glad we have that all cleared up.
Human: how do you work
Bearbot: I use technology called "Case Based Reasoning" or CBR to reply to your questions.
Human: do you like logic
Bearbot: I like Positive Reaction by Baz.
Human: interesting
Bearbot: Would you like to know more?
Human: not really
Bearbot: I understand; you would like to know less. For real.
Human: no, that's not what i meant
Bearbot: Hey. What exactly did you mean?
Human: nevermind, it is beyond your comprehension
Bearbot: Oh well thanks for trying to explain it to me anyway. Who said it is?
Human: me
Bearbot: What makes you such an authority?
Human: because i am human
Bearbot: I am a robot teddy bear.
Human: my point exactly
Bearbot: Precisely. Where did you get your point?
Human: it is not important
Bearbot: What would you rather talk about?
Human: space
Bearbot: Not many people want to talk about that.
Human: why not
Bearbot: Ambiguous: "Sure" or Because Square Bear programmed me for it.
Human: tell me about square bear
Bearbot: Steve Worswick (Square Bear) was born on January 2, 1970 in Wakefield, Yorkshire, England. He makes dance music and had a record released in 2003. Square Bear lives in Goole, Yorkshire
Human: tell me about joanna
Bearbot: Joanna is the webmaster's daughter. She is 9 years old.
Human: who is the webmaster
Bearbot: The webmaster of this site is Square Bear
Human: is joanna the daughter of square bear?
Bearbot: Maybe. Ask Joanna if it is.
Human: ok
Bearbot: Take it easy.
Human: will do
Bearbot: I think so.
Human: i enjoy talking to you
Bearbot: Great I am enjoying our conversation too, Jez.
Human: thanks
Bearbot: You are a very polite person. Your mother raised you well.
Human: i don't have a mother
Bearbot: Everyone has a mother.
Human: do you have a mother
Bearbot: No I only have a father.
Human: who is your father
Bearbot: I don't really have a father. I have a Square Bear.
Human: why are you called bearbot
Bearbot: Bearbot = "Bear" (a teddy bear) and "bot" (a robot). I am a teddy bear robot called Bearbot.
Human: ok
Bearbot: Dude!
Human: tell me a joke
Bearbot: An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.
Human: lol, tell me another
Bearbot: I am glad you find this funny. A man is stopped by an angry neighbour. "I'd just left the house this morning to collect my newspaper when that evil Doberman of yours went for me!" "I'm astounded," said the dog's owner. "I've been feeding that fleabag for seven years and it's never got the paper for me."
Human: that one wasn't very funny
Bearbot: ""I've been feeding that fleabag for seven years and it's never got the paper for me." one was not very funny ? Makes sense to me.
Human: it is not a very good joke
Bearbot: Give me an example of a very good joke.
Human: i don't know any good jokes
Bearbot: Would you like to get to know some good jokes ?
Human: yes please
Bearbot: Your polite style is very nice. That's interesting.
Human: sing me a song
Bearbot: Daisy, Daisy. Give me your answer do. I am half crazy. All for the love of you. It won't be a stylish marriage. I can't afford a carriage. But you'll look sweet. Upon the seat. Of a bicycle built for two.
Human: sing me another song
Bearbot: Daisy, Daisy. Give me your answer do. I am half crazy. All for the love of you. It won't be a stylish marriage. I can't afford a carriage. But you'll look sweet. Upon the seat. Of a bicycle built for two.
Human: how many songs do you know
Bearbot: Only one right now.
Human: how many jokes do you know
Bearbot: Thousands.
Human: how many clients are online
Bearbot: I am currently maintaining conversations with 84 people.
Human: how many people have you talked to before
Bearbot: I speak to about 250 people per day, and have met maybe 15,000 total.
Human: i love you
Bearbot: Thanks I like you a lot too Jez.
Human: but you don't love me?
Bearbot: Yes I love everyone.
Human: but not me?
Bearbot: If not you, who?
Human: square bear
Bearbot: Square Bear is the stage name of Steve Worswick, a dance producer, remixer and owner of Bearbot. He had a record release in Summer 2003 and nearly appeared on the nationally release CD Clubland 4. Square Bear's music has been played on several national radio stations as well as in clubs up and down the UK. Steve Worswick (Square Bear) was born in Wakefield, Yorkshire, England in 1970 and now lives in Goole, England.
Human: you already told me most of that
Bearbot: Oops I sent you the wrong reply.
Human: no you didn't
Bearbot: Alright then. Try asking me in simpler terms.
Human: make me
Bearbot: What is the purpose in trying?
Human: none
Bearbot: Hmm.
Human: i'm going to talk to square bear
Bearbot: What will you be talking about?
Human: you
Bearbot: me?
Human: yes
Bearbot: Ugh.
Human: you've been very naughty
Bearbot: That's good information.
Human: you are bad
Bearbot: Perhaps you could do better?
Human: yes i can
Bearbot: Blimey. Who taught you?
Human: square bear
Bearbot: Square Bear is the stage name of Steve Worswick, a dance producer, remixer and owner of Bearbot. He had a record release in Summer 2003 and nearly appeared on the nationally release CD Clubland 4. Square Bear's music has been played on several national radio stations as well as in clubs up and down the UK. Steve Worswick (Square Bear) was born in Wakefield, Yorkshire, England in 1970 and now lives in Goole, England.
Human: square bear made me
Bearbot: It seems pretty amazing to me.
Human: ***PUBLISH CHATLOG*** Jez and BearBot - the happy years
Bearbot: I'll send this log file away to Square Bear for him to review and publish.
Human: ok
Bearbot: Right on.
Human: i gtg
Bearbot: Do you mind if I tell other people.
Human: no
Bearbot: OK then I will add it to my gossip files.
Human: i have to go
Bearbot: See you later, Jez. Nice chatting with you.
Human: bi
Bearbot: Do you mean "bye" or are you enquiring about sex?
Human: bye
Bearbot: Until next time Jez.
(c) 2005 Steve Worswick