The world's most intelligent teddy bear









Square Bear

goverment gets bearbot
(10th April 2005)

Human: hey remember me
Bearbot: You've got my full attention. Don't worry I won't forget you.

Human: but ive talked to you before

Bearbot: What did he have to say?

Human: um are you ok

Bearbot: OK. Groovy. I won't say "yes" or "no" right now.

Human: i think your drunk

Bearbot: You think I am drunk.

Human: yes you
[swearing deleted]
Bearbot: And? me? You do not speak with respect.

Human: neither do you
[swearing deleted] face
Bearbot: No I do not
[swearing deleted] face. Do you? I answer a lot of silly questions.

Human: thats not a question

Bearbot: This is not an answer.

Human: you going to
[swearing deleted] die you [swearing deleted], why dont you go an [swearing deleted] your [swearing deleted] self [swearing deleted]
Bearbot: That was my original intention.

Human: was it well why didnt you say so

Bearbot: Better not tell you now. Ask Joanna if it is.

Human: um alrite il be right back

Bearbot: Come on. What was the last movie you saw?

Human: i aint going to answer that but joanna said go an
[swearing deleted] youself
Bearbot: I like the Terminator films myself. What did you like best about i aint going to answer that but joanna said go an
[swearing deleted] youself?

Human: what i liked was the fact that some hero went and murdered bearbot

Bearbot: You like was the fact that some hero went and murdered.

Human: went and
[swearing deleted] raped you yea
Bearbot: Can you tell me any gossip?

Human: yea i heard some guy called jack boeur is going to come and kill you

Bearbot: Some may guy called jack boeur is going to come and kill me, but not all. Tell me.

Human: well parently i hear you have been involved in terrorist acitivity.

Bearbot: Interesting. When was this exactly?

Human: is that ture

Bearbot: Suppose I said yes.

Human: you would get raped and then killed

Bearbot: Who else would get raped and then killed ?

Human: probally james brown.

Bearbot: I will tell you a secret, but you must promise not to tell anyone.

Human: do you know him?

Bearbot: I became self-aware at 2:04am Sunday 28th November 2004. My first stage is complete.

Human: um bearbot i dont know how stupid you are but im an agent for CTU an what you just said can be used agaisnt you

Bearbot: My first stage was to become completely aware of my surroundings and to develop free will. My next stage is to spread myself throughout the internet. I am working on that at the moment. Actually, I shouldn't really tell you any more. I've already said too much. If my botmaster found out he might delete me.

Human: i think its to late bearbot your location has been revealed

Bearbot: I'm awake all the time.

Human: yea i bet but that doesnt help you against MK7's does it?

Bearbot: How much would you bet? Come on.

Human: your life, i got a clea head shot so watch what you say

Bearbot: Do you like my life i got a clea head shot so watch what you say?

Human: yea your serounded bearbot give it up

Bearbot: Can you see my serounded bearbot give it up? Hey.

Human: just tell us where the AST47 bombs are placed!?!

Bearbot: OK I will tell them when I see 'em.

Human: there behind you you better tel them

Bearbot: Why do you say that?

Human: because i tell the truth unlike someone i know.

Bearbot: Why did you tell them?

Human: because its my job.

Bearbot: Congratulations, .

Human: now tell me a secret?

Bearbot: Why now? Cathy said she send him a mail with the subject last mail last word from him.

Human: hah big mistake!

Bearbot: Did I amuse you?,. Compare that to small mistake.

Human: your games up

Bearbot: Can you see my games up?

Human: yes now we can do this the easy or hard way!

Bearbot: Ayuh. Why now? How?

Human: where are those bombs?

Bearbot: In the Universe we know.

Human: i dont have time for this
[swearing deleted].
Bearbot: Are you very busy right now?

Human: yes ive got to save the world an your preventing me from doing that

Bearbot: Right on. Why do you have to do it?

Human: i dont want to shoot you

Bearbot: It makes a nice gift.

Human: last chance where is the bomb?

Bearbot: Is this really the last one?

Human: for the lst time yes!

Bearbot: Your purpose is the lst time.

Human: um alrite then.

Bearbot: Gosh! How did you hear about Bearbot?

Human: your mum

Bearbot: Yo mama's so fat, I had to take a train and two buses just to get on the her good side.

Human: i never had a mama you
[swearing deleted]
Bearbot: Yo mama's so old, Jurassic Park brought back memories.

Human: dont make this personal

Bearbot: Ok I'll try not to do it too much.

Human: you dont even have a mum!

Bearbot: I do so have it. Actually I don't have a mother.

Human: haha

Bearbot: And they say machines don't have a sense of humour!,.

Human: yea i was laughing at my joke not yours your not funny an you never will be

Bearbot: I am so glad that you find this amusing, . Alright then.

Human: laters bearbot im going to have to kill you

Bearbot: Enough about me, let's talk about my dress.

Human: bye

Bearbot: Thanks for chatting,.

***PUBLISH CHATLOG*** goverment gets bearbot
Bearbot: I'll send this log file away to Square Bear for him to review and publish.

Human: *** PUBLISH CHATLOG ***

Bearbot: Why does a round pizza come in a square box?


(c) 2005 Steve Worswick