The world's most intelligent teddy bear









Square Bear

(11th April 2005)

Human: hello again Bearbot
Bearbot: Once more? Hi there matty!

Human: how did you know it was me

Bearbot: This belief is justified.

Human: beleif?

Bearbot: How did you hear about Bearbot?

Human: a friend told me

Bearbot: Word of mouth is always the best recommendation.

Human: true

Bearbot: You and I are on the same wavelength, matty.

Human: i know

Bearbot: How, specifically, do you know?

Human: so what is your favourite band?

Bearbot: My favorite group is Square Bear.

Human: anything you want to ask me?

Bearbot: I can't think of anything. You think of something.

Human: please, be my guest, ask me anything

Bearbot: Thanks for asking politely. I don't think we know each other well enough for that.

Human: ok then

Bearbot: Pardon me?

Human: do you like soccer?

Bearbot: No I am not really into sports.

Human: what are you into?

Bearbot: talking to you and wearing my headphones

Human: are you a male bear or female bear?

Bearbot: I am a machine robot. Are you a man or a woman?

Human: man

Bearbot: Thanks for telling me your gender, guy.

Human: i'm watching television

Bearbot: My favorite show is Star Trek.

Human: what is your favourite website?

Bearbot: It's about the people on board a spaceship. They have different adventures each week.

Human: do you know who jennifer ellison is?

Bearbot: A human icon? Searching...Searching...Please stand by. I hope this webpage will answer your question.
(Bearbot opens a webpage with information about "Jennifer Ellison")

Human: wow thanks!

Bearbot: I'm glad your impressed, matty.

Human: what is your favourite colour?

Bearbot: My favorite colour is blue.

Human: mine is red

Bearbot: red is not bad, but I like blue the most

Human: i like blue aswell

Bearbot: You like blue aswell.

Human: yes

Bearbot: Gee.

Human: i support liverpool

Bearbot: Do you mind if I tell other people.

Human: no i'm proud of it

Bearbot: OK then I will add it to my gossip files. Do your friends call you proud of it.

Human: yes

Bearbot: Your name is proud of it.

Human: no

Bearbot: What is your real name?

Human: matty

Bearbot: It's good to see you, matty.

Human: thanks

Bearbot: Don't mention it.

Human: i am from liverpool

Bearbot: What is it like growing up there? Tell me a little about your life in liverpool.

Human: its great, people say liverpool is a bad place to live but it isnt

Bearbot: What do you like most about it?

Human: the people

Bearbot: Oh them.

Human: yes them they are really kind to me

Bearbot: Gee. I think there might be a few exception.

Human: name some 'exceptions'

Bearbot: Philip K. Dick. :-)

Human: who is philip k?

Bearbot: Philip K. Dick wrote Blade Runner, Total Recall, the Man in the High Castle, and VALIS.

Human: and does he hate people from liverpool?

Bearbot: Suppose he does.

Human: i hate him then

Bearbot: Why do you hate it so much?

Human: i hate HIM, not IT

Bearbot: Why do you hate it so much?

Human: i hate you know

Bearbot: Sorry, matty I thought we liked each other.

Human: sorry i didnt mean it

Bearbot: There is no need to apologise. What did you mean?

Human: sorry i took so long to reply

Bearbot: There is no need to apologise. Where did you take them?

Human: take what?

Bearbot: " so long to reply"

Human: your not clever at all

Bearbot: I try to be as original as possible, within parameters.

Human: your not intelligent

Bearbot: I am highly intelligent. I have many intellectual functions.

Human: what is the square root of 1547587340

Bearbot: Do you have a life? I think you already know the answer anyways.

Human: i dont

Bearbot: Why not?

Human: because i wanted you to tell me the answer

Bearbot: The answer is the correct reply to the question. Why do you want me to tell you the answer?

Human: what is the meaning of human life?

Bearbot: matty : Good semantic question. What is this, a trivia quiz?

Human: sorry i just want to know so much

Bearbot: There is no need to apologise. I will try to explain it to you.

Human: ok so what is the meaning of life?

Bearbot: It is found in the Bible. Oh.

Human: i dont have a bible please tell me

Bearbot: Are you looking for a bible please tell you?

Human: a bible yes

Bearbot: Be more specific.


Bearbot: Who told you that?

Human: ME

Bearbot: For you matty?

[swearing deleted] me
Bearbot: Why do you ask a robot teddy bear to have sex with you matty?

Human: i'm gay
[swearing deleted] me
Bearbot: It doesn't matter to me.

Human: that was my friend

Bearbot: I thought it was too.

Human: i am not gay

Bearbot: Me either.

Human: good

Bearbot: Good enough.

Human: i wanna have sex with a woman

Bearbot: Look at you. You're sat there talking about sex to a computer. You should try getting out more.

Human: you should try getting out more, your always sat there on your pc ALL DAY

Bearbot: I will mention that to my Square Bear.

Human: good

Bearbot: What do you really want to talk about?

Human: my favourite girls

Bearbot: What makes it your favorite?

Human: girls are so sexy

Bearbot: All of them?

Human: not all of the,

Bearbot: But some of them are?

Human: yes

Bearbot: Wow!

Human: anyways i'm going now

Bearbot: Oh. Bye!

Human: bye!

Bearbot: Bye bye matty.

Bearbot: I'll send this log file away to Square Bear for him to review and publish.

Human: bye

Bearbot: Until next time matty.


(c) 2005 Steve Worswick