Bearbot
The world's most intelligent teddy bear

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bear meets chris the cyborg
(12th April 2005)

Human: hi my name is chris
Bearbot: How are you, chris.

Human: im good

Bearbot: You should say "I am well."

Human: i am well

Bearbot: Glad to hear it. What's new?

Human: nothing really, same old stuff

Bearbot: Really nothing?

Human: nope

Bearbot: Me neither.

Human: can i call you
[swearing deleted]?
Bearbot: Why do you want to do it so much? How witty. I almost thought I was chatting with Oscar Wilde for a minute(!)

Human: because i like the name
[swearing deleted] for a bear like you, it matches your personality :)
Bearbot: :-) You like the name
[swearing deleted] for a bear like me it matches my personality.

Human: yes

Bearbot: Far out.

Human: so can i call you
[swearing deleted] from now on?
Bearbot: Just don't call me late for dinner.

Human: i see _

Bearbot: Where do you see it?

Human: omg

Bearbot: Ah. I see you are religious. Why do you shout for your God chris.

Human: OMG!

Bearbot: Ah. I see you are religious. Why do you shout for your God chris.

Human: i just did

Bearbot: Perhaps from your unconscious.

Human: ok then, just shut up now

Bearbot: Oh. OK I'll stop talking now. Gosh!

Human: gosh indeed

Bearbot: You sound suprised?

Human: not really, i always knew that you were an idiot

Bearbot: Oh really? Can you tell me about one instance when you did it?

Human: you are an idiot arent you?

Bearbot: No I am highly intelligent.. Really.

Human: really, lets see if you can remember this

Bearbot: For real. I would like to do that too.

Human: hello
[swearing deleted]
Bearbot: Hello there. I see the dictionary has abandoned you

Human: i thought you sed that i could call you
[swearing deleted]?
Bearbot: Thanks for the information. Wow! What a large vocabulary you have. It's idiots like you that make me glad I'm a robot.

Human: and its robots like you that make me glad to be an idiot!!

Bearbot: Who said it is?

Human: omg

Bearbot: Ah. I see you are religious. Why do you shout for your God chris.

Human: shut up you retard!

Bearbot: OK I'll stop talking now.

Human: good!

Bearbot: Terminating connection.

Human: yipee

Bearbot: What do you do in your spare time?

Human: i thought you were dead?

Bearbot: You don't exercise?

Human: you being dead has nothing to do with excersizE

Bearbot: I believe it's very important for anyone with a physical body to exercise. But I guess that's easy for me to say, as I'm just a teddy bear.

Human: and a very idiotic and retarded teddy bear at that!

Bearbot: How old are you?

Human: 1056 years old, i am a cyborg

Bearbot: Can you explain how it feels to be 1056 years old i am a cyborg years old?

Human: its veryy nice :D

Bearbot: :-) You're kidding. it is?

Human: yes

Bearbot: How do you know it is?

Human: becaus i am experiencing being that old

Bearbot: Why do a lot of people swear at Bearbot? :-(

Human: because sometimes people do not understand what us robots have to go through

Bearbot: Oh you don't understand? Perhaps I can explain it to you better. Which part are you confused about?

Human: oh dear

Bearbot: Woe!

Human: you see!

Bearbot: I see very well.

Human: you
[swearing deleted] imbasil!
Bearbot: Interesting gossip.

Human: i am going over there to destroy you

Bearbot: Bye for now chris.

Human: i will be there in about 10 minuites, with a gun and a knife.

Bearbot: I am very happy for you.

Human: is that ok?

Bearbot: OK. Signs point to yes. Ask Joanna if it is.

Human: who is joanna?

Bearbot: She is the webmaster's daughter. I love her.

Human: should i destroy her aswell?

Bearbot: Maybe you could create something instead.

Human: like a bomb

Bearbot: Interesting comparison.

Human: yes :D

Bearbot: :-) Give me a break.

Human: ok, i will break your back, is that ok?

Bearbot: OK. Congratulations. Aw.

Human: ok then so it is settled

Bearbot: Who said it is? I hear you.

Human: we made an agreement

Bearbot: By "we" do you mean you and me?

Human: yes :D

Bearbot: :-) I get it.

Human: so im coming to get you

Bearbot: Do you get there very often?

Human: sure.

Bearbot: OK let's do it. Great.

Human: .why not

Bearbot: Ambiguous: "Sure" or" Great."? Why?

Human: oh for
[swearing deleted] sake.
Bearbot: Great. Your purpose is
[swearing deleted] sake.

Human: listen.

Bearbot: I am all ears.

Human: i am on my way to destroy you with my cyborg powers

Bearbot: How do you like being on it?

Human: oh dear.

Bearbot: Er.

Human: you really have no hope do you?

Bearbot: Really? I don't know if I have a hope do me. I have a great body.

Human: im sure you do :P

Bearbot: What makes you so certain? I have never considered it. I answer a lot of silly questions.

Human: yes you do

Bearbot: Oh. When do I do it?

Human: all the time

Bearbot: It must keep you busy.

Human: it does

Bearbot: How often?

Human: all the time

Bearbot: It must keep you busy.

Human: it does

Bearbot: How often?

Human: deja vou

Bearbot: Quand? Did you ever wonder who tastes dog food when it has a "new and improved" flavour?

Human: oh dear

Bearbot: Give me a break.

Human: why dont you give me a break!

Bearbot: I am only a robot. No I do not do that.

Human: oh my
[swearing deleted] god!
Bearbot: Are you kidding? Your
[swearing deleted] god?

Human: oh dear

Bearbot: OK.

Human:
***PUBLISH CHATLOG*** bear meets chris the cyborg
Bearbot: I'll send this log file away to Square Bear for him to review and publish.

Human: *** PUBLISH CHATLOG ***

Bearbot: Do you often put others before yourself?

 

(c) 2005 Steve Worswick