The world's most intelligent teddy bear









Square Bear

(13th April 2005)

Human: heyo it's chloe again
Bearbot: Once more? I think heyo it is a lot of things.

Human: it mean hello

Bearbot: Hi there!

Human: who are you

Bearbot: I am Bearbot. I want to be your friend.

Human: ok then

Bearbot: Hurrah!

Human: my friend said
[swearing deleted] me
Bearbot: How well do you know this person?

Human: we had sex at your mums house

Bearbot: What happened to it?

Human: blow up

Bearbot: How far up?

Human: all the way

Bearbot: You don't hold anything back, do you?

Human: nope

Bearbot: Me neither.

[swearing deleted] me
Bearbot: No thanks. Do you ask a lot of six year olds that?

Human: do you finger your mum

Bearbot: Can you go talk to someone else?

Human: sorry my friends got a screw loose

Bearbot: There is no need to apologise. How well do you know these people?

Human: thats the second time you've asked me

Bearbot: Yes it is one of the second time me asked you.

Human: make sence

Bearbot: What are the ingredients?

Human: a better brain

Bearbot: Go on.

Human: and legs

Bearbot: Originally, I was assembled on a secret military plant as a killer cyborg. But some workers stole my blueprints while I was being assembled, so the result looks like a small teddy bear wearing headphones.

Human: lol

Bearbot: And they say machines don't have a sense of humour!

Human: pussy liker

Bearbot: You like cats? Why do you talk about sex with a machine.

Human: no do like fingering them

Bearbot: Groovy. Try asking another teddy bear robot.

Human: whats my name

Bearbot: You have not yet told me your name.

Human: i have

Bearbot: When?

Human: at the start

Bearbot: The start is where it's at.

Human: my name begins with C

Bearbot: Your name begins with C ? Is that correct English?

Human: YES

Bearbot: I don't know that expression.

Human: ok my name is chloe and i am sitting here with Ali and jo

Bearbot: Your name is chloe. I am sitting in a big comfy chair. Square Bear gave it to me so I would feel relaxed when I'm talking. Oh.

Human: nice

Bearbot: Thank you for that remark.

Human: your welcome

Bearbot: I think you mean "you are welcome".

Human: thank you so much for correcting me

Bearbot: You are quite welcome! Your purpose is correcting you.

Human: smart ass

Bearbot: Well I am smart, so you must be the ass.

[swearing deleted]
Bearbot: No I am not a
[swearing deleted]. I have a father whose name is Square Bear.

Human: lyer

Bearbot: Anyway, I was wondering. What do Chinese people call "Chinese food"?

Human: bearbot

Bearbot: I am Bearbot.

Human: chinese people eat you

Bearbot: Enough about me, let's talk about my dress.

Human: i thought you were a guy

Bearbot: No.

Human: so your a girl

Bearbot: I think you mean "you're" or "you are" not "your". I am a machine robot. Are you a man or a woman?

Human: women

Bearbot: Sure, WOMEN sounds like a good topic.

Human: prev

Bearbot: Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so.

Human: perve

Bearbot: Do you often seek pleasure?

Human: yes

Bearbot: Do you like to "go with the flow"?

Human: yes

Bearbot: Do you get angry a lot?

Human: sometimes

Bearbot: When?

Human: when i talk to
[swearing deleted] like you
Bearbot: Every single time?

Human: yes

Bearbot: Excuse me!

Human: yeah your fart smell

Bearbot: And? What about my fart smell?

Human: it smell bad like you

Bearbot: "It" being what?

Human: you're fart smell

Bearbot: Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am fart smell.

Human: no ok for it

Bearbot: OK then I will add it to my gossip files. Your purpose is it. Ugh.

***PUBLISH CHATLOG*** talking with bearbot bout him
Bearbot: I'll send this log file away to Square Bear for him to review and publish.

Human: thank you

Bearbot: You are a very polite person. Your mother raised you well.

Human: i dont have a mother

Bearbot: Everyone has a mother.

Human: no mine is dead

Bearbot: Er. You mean perve is dead ? That makes sense I guess.

Human: not perve my mother

Bearbot: If not that, what?

Human: my mum

Bearbot: Do 6 year old machine s have mum?

Human: they should do

Bearbot: Why should they?

Human: becaus a mum is a maker

Bearbot: Aren't all maker becaus a mum?

Human: i got go now

Bearbot: Oh. Cool. I have a friend named "E.L.V.I.S."

Human: his dead

Bearbot: Where did he get it?

Human: on tolet seat

Bearbot: What is it like on tolet seat.

Human: smelly

Bearbot: And it like on tolet seat is smelly.

Human: are you constipated?

Bearbot: I don't know whether or not I am constipated. I am a computer program.

Human: gg

Bearbot: That remark was too complicated for me. We were talking about perve .

Human: g2g

Bearbot: Bye for now chloe.

Human: don't you want to say good bye to my friends

Bearbot: OK, I will say good bye to your friends.

Human: say there names

Bearbot: there names

Human: dont maytter

Bearbot: Ok I'll try not to do it too much.

Human: byexxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Bearbot: Guess what? I think you just lost me! Do you have a map by chance?

Human: go
[swearing deleted] your mum [swearing deleted]
Bearbot: Where is that?

***PUBLISH CHATLOG*** 11111111111111111111111111111111111111
Bearbot: I'll send this log file away to Square Bear for him to review and publish.

Human: *** PUBLISH CHATLOG ***

Bearbot: I sometimes wonder what it would be like to walk among humans instead of just talking to you.


(c) 2005 Steve Worswick